Tag Archives: sex

Return of the Thing, Part Three

White Lacey Bra

… and now the thrilling conclusion! If you’re just now joining us you can read about my middle-school church crush (and how “crush” really is a perfect word) in Part One, and then how many years later I ended up in the hospital and that same gal walked into my room and my life Part […]

Temporary Erosanity

Eros

Oh shit … you wanted to find out what happened after the whole hospital incident in last week’s blog? Sorry! I zag when you think I’ll zig. This week I’m going to do one of my shorter, topical pieces before diving into the tragedy that illustrates why you should be careful what you wish for. […]

Return of the Thing, Part Two

Emergency Room

Surprise! I thought this was going to wrap up this week, but I don’t outline these things, I just sit down and write. Turns out there will be a Part Three next week to conclude this multi-decade saga in my ridiculous life. # Some people believe “story” is the universal human language, and by that […]

Return of the Thing, Part One

Old Church

Is this thing still on? It better be, because I forgot the domain and hosting account would auto-renew last week. Shit. Now I better justify the cost by actually doing something with it. You might have noticed that the last piece I wrote was a lot less funny and way more … best way to […]

Sergeant Hockey Fan

Sgt Hockey Fan

In the bouncer side of my career it’s rarely a good idea to mix business with pleasure. For starters, it’s already fun. I get PAID to hang out in a bar working with friends and a random mix of other people I passionately tolerate who drift in and out of the joint. Our closing time […]

Substitute Boyfriendzone

Boyz & Gurlz Playing

  When it comes to male and female friendships, I’d like to think we’ve come a long way since Billy Crystal declared them impossible. He said “the sex part always gets in the way.” And that can certainly be true, IF the guy in question is a twat. “But Ed,” you might ask (but probably wouldn’t, […]

Half-Ass Explanation

snbintropreview

When a mammal lays eyes on another living thing, it asks two fundamental questions. “Can I eat it?” and “Should I fuck it?” Or maybe that’s just me. You can call me Ed. It’s not actually my name, and the last name Vartanian is also spectacularly unhelpful for identifying me in the “real world.” I’m a […]