Tag Archives: bacon

Objects In Motion

Monkey Say Oooh

It’s been a while. Real life slog, real life depression. I let this crazy blog experiment slide. Sorry about that. I’d love to report that everything is all better, but truth is I’m kind of in the middle. Better than it was, not nearly as good as it could be. But I miss you, I […]

Return of the Thing, Part Three

White Lacey Bra

… and now the thrilling conclusion! If you’re just now joining us you can read about my middle-school church crush (and how “crush” really is a perfect word) in Part One, and then how many years later I ended up in the hospital and that same gal walked into my room and my life Part […]

Temporary Erosanity

Eros

Oh shit … you wanted to find out what happened after the whole hospital incident in last week’s blog? Sorry! I zag when you think I’ll zig. This week I’m going to do one of my shorter, topical pieces before diving into the tragedy that illustrates why you should be careful what you wish for. […]

Return of the Thing, Part Two

Emergency Room

Surprise! I thought this was going to wrap up this week, but I don’t outline these things, I just sit down and write. Turns out there will be a Part Three next week to conclude this multi-decade saga in my ridiculous life. # Some people believe “story” is the universal human language, and by that […]

Return of the Thing, Part One

Old Church

Is this thing still on? It better be, because I forgot the domain and hosting account would auto-renew last week. Shit. Now I better justify the cost by actually doing something with it. You might have noticed that the last piece I wrote was a lot less funny and way more … best way to […]

Half-Ass Explanation

snbintropreview

When a mammal lays eyes on another living thing, it asks two fundamental questions. “Can I eat it?” and “Should I fuck it?” Or maybe that’s just me. You can call me Ed. It’s not actually my name, and the last name Vartanian is also spectacularly unhelpful for identifying me in the “real world.” I’m a […]