Archive by Author

Substitute Boyfriendzone

Boyz & Gurlz Playing

  When it comes to male and female friendships, I’d like to think we’ve come a long way since Billy Crystal declared them impossible. He said “the sex part always gets in the way.” And that can certainly be true, IF the guy in question is a twat. “But Ed,” you might ask (but probably wouldn’t, […]

A Knight to Not Remember

White Knight

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, then I’ve been skipping my way to Satan’s hot tub like it was made of goddamn yellow bricks. And while I’m guilty of my fair share of stupid bullshit for less-than-honorable reasons, my nobler moments tend to bite me in the ass. The worst injury […]

Half-Ass Explanation

snbintropreview

When a mammal lays eyes on another living thing, it asks two fundamental questions. “Can I eat it?” and “Should I fuck it?” Or maybe that’s just me. You can call me Ed. It’s not actually my name, and the last name Vartanian is also spectacularly unhelpful for identifying me in the “real world.” I’m a […]