Archive | November, 2016

Sergeant Hockey Fan

Sgt Hockey Fan

In the bouncer side of my career it’s rarely a good idea to mix business with pleasure. For starters, it’s already fun. I get PAID to hang out in a bar working with friends and a random mix of other people I passionately tolerate who drift in and out of the joint. Our closing time […]

Talking Turkey

Pissed Off Turkey

Mr. Gobble up there knows he’s fucked. I can sympathize. Sorry about the missing blog this past week, folks. The good news is the rumors of my holiday-depression-induced-suicide are greatly exaggerated. The bad news is this past Wednesday will remain a hole in the Sex & Bacon oeuvre. I survived another train wreck gathering of my family, […]

Love Bytes


The internet is amazing. It brings you this blog, allows you to video chat with your grandma from across the world, and instantly offers you the full spectrum of pornography—from the most vanilla fare to stuff that could haunt your dreams for years. Ultimately, the internet is a tool, or rather a digital shelf supporting thousands […]

Double-You Tee Eff

Ignore This

Dating over thirty sucks. It’s an exercise in near-constant self doubt while you’re dealing with people who might as well be aliens. But at least alien abduction ends with someone getting their pants yanked off followed by some wholesome anal probing. I might give up on dating entirely were it not for my ridiculous libido […]

Substitute Boyfriendzone

Boyz & Gurlz Playing

  When it comes to male and female friendships, I’d like to think we’ve come a long way since Billy Crystal declared them impossible. He said “the sex part always gets in the way.” And that can certainly be true, IF the guy in question is a twat. “But Ed,” you might ask (but probably wouldn’t, […]